The Dexter Backlash:

So this morning, I was painfully bored and decided to go on AOL to get my email, look at celebrity gossip, and at some point, read what I like to refer to as "Adult News". Adult news, to me, is comprised of stories which bore and depress me, mostly simoultaneously. So, as I prepared to put my joy and happiness aside to read about the true horrors of the world, I noticed a headline that, in all sincerity, almost forced me to pee my pants from laughter.

The caption was entitled "Bad news for Jacks," and it had a pre-school sized chair with name tag on it that blatantly said "Jack." I knew, at this point, that there was no turning back, THIS was something inspiring, something worth writing about.

From the day Ross and I revealed that we wanted our first boy to be named "Dexter", we caught a lot of flack, and not just from one side of the family, but both. While Ross and I saw it as a charming, antiquated name, Kaylene, for example, saw it as disturbing. When I revealed the name Dexter to my mother, the stiffling silence on the other end of the phone, followed by coarse and harsh laughing was a sign to me that maybe we either needed to re-think the name, or gain a confidence about it, the likes of which Nigels and Damiens had mustered in their existence. Dexter, it appeared, was not going to just simply "slip" past the familial radar.

So by now, Ross and I have become accustomed to the lack of Dexter mugs, the absence of key chains and t-shirts, but not yet the suprisingly positive lack of Dexter as a trouble-maker's name. In fact, on a list of top 12 names from school teachers, Dexter, it seems, is nowhere near that list. Although, if this were a list of last names, I guarauntee Chamberlain would be among the 12, of course not before Ruiz with a giant scarlett "R".

So does this mean that Ned and Rach's kiddo is doomed to misbehave in school? That Jack, although devistatingly handsome, will likely send his teacher to the state's mental institution, covered in spitballs and frogs? I can't be sure. Afterall, what's really in a name?

I can say from years of working with pre-school aged children, there were in fact names which followed a certain personality characteristic. For example, Olivias, though cute, were highly precocious, stepping on their friends to get ot the top. Madelines and Maddisons were physically and emotionally mean, usually finding some way to inflict pain on a fellow student, or even a teacher. Stephanies, Ashlies, Amandas, and Nicoles were ALWAYS part of an entourage, never breaking free of the chains of their mundane and over-used names. And of course, there were boys. Johns and Michaels were also entourage kids, but managed to succeed nicely at everything. Brandons and Jacobs were troublemakers, usually at fault for some fellow student's tears. But Jacks, or Jaxons? I had a few when I coached gymnastics, and I can honestly say not once did I have a problem with Jack or the two Jaxons.

So what does this all mean? I say, in the grand scheme of things, put deep thought into what you name your children. Not because you need to have some sort of a life-altering, highly spiritual experience, but rather, because you love your child enough to ponder the decisions which will ultimately affect and shape their lives. I personally think Ned and Rach have done a fantastic job picking out their son's name, and have put a lot of love into their choice, something I wish more parents would do, unlike Abcde Martinez's mother, a woman who thought it would be hilarious to name her daughter by the first 5 letters of the alphabet.

Will we get everything right with our kids? I highly doubt it, but I know that if we keep a strong moral ground, our children will follow. What they will inevitably choose as adults will be of no reflection on us as parents, if we've done all we can.

I can say this much about my sister (in law), that maybe everyone else's Jack will have issues, but Rach's, I highly doubt, will fit the profile.