House for Sale, House for Rent

So last week, Ross and I went to look at homes in the Prov/Orem area. I found this one on a listing and just had a great feeling about it. It's not very large, but has great features and is brand new on the inside, including new appliances, and sits on a large piece of property. I think I'm in love all over again, only this house doesn't snore, or eat its weight in Hellman's mayonaise. The point is, I really like this place, and I'm excited to see what the future holds.

Jack-a-potamus:

So on Tuesday, I got a call from Rachel, letting me know she had just received her epidural and Jack was on his way.

This was such a big moment for me because this was the first Chamberlain baby I had spent the most "unborn" time around. Aside from that, it was big because Rach and I were experiencing all of this for the first time.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love having sister-in-laws all around me who have been through every phase of child rearing, literally, but there's something special about talking to a woman who's just given birth an hour or two before you showed up, and for the first time. It sounds strange, but I needed to see Rach so soon after to better imagine myself there in less than three months. What I was not prepared for was the flood of emotions I would have.

As soon as Ross and I walked in, we saw Ned sitting in the post-partum room with Jack. I felt like I was walking in on a very private moment, but I couldn't look away. Suddenly, I began to understand what people mean when they say that having a baby changes your whole life. In that moment, I realized how much this little person was going to need his daddy the rest of his life. I was about to get over to Rach when out of the corner of my eye, I saw what still makes me tear up even now. Ned was talking with the head nurse, and Jack, who was looking at Ned, stretched his little arm and reached for Ned's finger. As his tiny little fingers wrapped around Ned's one large finger, Ned looked down and just smiled. It's one of the sweetest moments I will ever experience, and I'm so glad I was there to see it.

Altogether, Jack is a total toe-head, has the sweetest little face, and is officially a Chamberlain. It's pointless to say I love him, but I honestly do.

G e n t l e m e n B r o n c o s :

Last week, Ross and I fought a series of physical and theoretical hurtles to get to the cast and crew screening of Gentlemen Broncos.

Before the movie came on the screen, there were the usual "look at me" types, the girl with the five colored hair and "dress" that was, by all definitions, a top; the guy who, you know makes at least 100+ grand a year who gets his kicks by looking homeless; and the snobby "artiste" types who, layer upon layer, become more superficial with every cliche sentence. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself an Arts/Entertainment person for sure, but in a respectful way, a way that keeps the sanctity of the work at hand.

So Ross and I sat there, hand in hand, and prepared ourselves for either greatness or a profound lack there of.

The opening scene was typical Hess in that the characters are always less than palatable looking. They're the sort of people you wish had as little close-up of as possible. Each character had a painful touch of the early 90's that, let's be honest, would make anyone who dressed in that time period cringe just thinking about it. The high rise Levi's jeans with the tapered ankles, the shirts tucked in and the looped braided belts, the jean jumpers and scrunchies, and of course, vests galore. Altogether, I felt like the only thing missing was Jesus Jones blaring, "You're Unbelievable" in the background while I flipped up the bill on my bikers cap and the second layer on my oh-so-round sunglasses.

We got through the movie, mostly by laughing at the look of the characters, not by the characters themselves, which was a bit disheartening. I felt, while watching this movie, that a few things kept it from being great:

1) These characters have been done. Both Nacho Libre and now Gentlemen Broncos feel like copies of Napoleon Dynamite.

2) The editing causes more confusion and displacement than a flowing story. I felt like randomness was fine with Napoleon, but with movies like Nacho Libre and Gentlemen Broncos, you have a decided storyline, and randomness causes more hindrance than helpfulness.

3) The music was wrong for the movie. The music actually felt more expensive than the movie its self. Having big name bands like Ozzy Osborne, Boston, and the Scorpions can actually do damage to your movie if you're constantly striving to make it look low budget all around.

4) The characters themselves were outdone by their own wardrobes, and sometimes, their overacting. I felt that the guy who plays Lonnie completely overacted, making his character unbelievable and fake. Michael Angarano who played "Benjin" was quite boring and never really gives you much to root for. Had his character been more in touch, I feel the ending would have had more of a purpose. In fact, the only three characters who really held their own were Jemaine Clement, Sam Rockwell, and the female starring opposite of him.

5) The movie is hiding an inside joke which makes it that much more confusing to a national audience. Had I not known about the joke within the movie, I think I would have enjoyed the movie even less.

In a nutshell, I was disappointed. Cinema, to me, is serious stuff. If you're going to waste people's time and money on 2 hours worth of private jokes, then hit up Sundance and the IFC channel. This movie could have been the next big thing, but not by relying on what originally made you famous, by expanding on that genius and creating something new, something people aren't already quoting and repeating. I feel like, if this trend continues with the Hess movies, we're going to be looking at a M. Knight Shyamalan situation : Big Build-Up, no delivery.

Part Time Work : )

So I got what I asked for, FINALLY. Work is now letting me go part time. I'm excited about this new venture because I can build my own hours, have lunch with Ross, keep my house clean, and not have to have a babysitter for Dex longer than 4 hours a day : ) YAY.

Continued:

Kaylene: Thank you for hugging me often and loving me like a sister.
Daniel: Thank you for chatting with me about anything, anytime. I can always depend on you to challenge my knowledge : )

October is a rough month:

For whatever reason, the month of October has been undoubtedly rough. Whether it be people in the work place acting like jerks, family members falling ill or reappearing for that matter, people having babies, people being sealed, etc, we're all a bit tied up.

As of late, Grandma Adams, or Hilda, as I sometimes refer to her, has apparently suffered a stroke, the likes of which have left her motionless on her left side. Ross and Ned went to give her a blessing yesterday afternoon, and I met up with Ross later to lend my support. I can't begin to explain how hard this was as Hilda is the first grandparent to show any real interest in me since my Great Grandmother died back in 1992. Seeing her somewhat incopacitated was difficult, not for me, but for what it must mean for her, because she is a woman of much pride, taking great lengths to walk herself to wherever she needs to go. And it goes deeper than that. Down to the core of her soul, she's a fighter, and from what I know of her, always has been. For people who don't like to be wrong, or who don't like to depend on others, this sort of blow can be personally devistating.

It's been hard for me to express my feelings because I still feel so new to this family, and I am still afraid to claim any part of a life I just married in to. Have I had enough time with her to feel as strongly as I do? In my own heart it still amazes me how Rolyne feels like my mother, how Lori, Kaylene, and Keri feel like my sisters, or how Rachel, Karin, Karla, and Em feel like my sisters as well. And this also goes for Doug, Ned, Scott, and Jeff, or Daniel, Bill, and Rob who I most definitely look up to and am proud of, just like my own older brother Alex.

Right before Anita died, my father's mother, she told my mom that she would have a girl. This was one of many conversations my mother had, one on one, with Annie before she passed. My mom came from a broken family, far more broken than mine, and she looked forward to those moments with Annie becuase sometimes, they were all she had. When my mom converted to the Catholic faith, Annie was there to help her. When Alex developed colic, Annie was there. And so, when Annie died, my mother was devistated, but also faced a backlash from my two aunts, who told her that her grief was misplaced, Annie was not her mother.

I always sort of carried this fear with me that one day, when I got married, my sister in laws would treat me the same way my mother had been treated, like dirt. I spent a lot of time dating and trying to find the right person for me, only to realize that it wasn't just the person I needed to love, it was his family as well.

In March of 2008, Ross flew me up to Utah to meet his family for the first time. The night before I was supposed to fly up, my father had gone off the deep end. Claiming that he was tired of living "this" way, he proceeded to lock himself up in his bathroom and threaten suicide. As he blared his favorite music, I grabbed the downe vest I had just purchased for the trip, and carefully placed it into my suitcase. A few seconds later, my mother came in to my room in tears, wanting to know what she should do. I couldn't say what I wanted to because I was afraid of my own lack of compassion, so I just stared at her blankly, and then proceeded to pack up the rest of my things. Moments later, the police showed up, and I closed my door.

Meeting Rolyne for the first time, I felt a bit ashamed, as if the words "my father threatened to kill himself last night" were written all over my shirt. I wasn't prepared for the lack of judgement, the wealth of love and understanding, and the ease of just fitting right in that followed that week. And it was then that I knew, no matter where I came from or what I had to deal with, these were people sent to me from God, a second beginning if you will. No longer did I have to defend myself at every turn, or scream at the top of my lungs to be heard, and no longer did I have to be afraid that I wouldn't "fit in" or that someone "wouldn't include me". This was a new extension of the family I always wanted, but never had.

So last night, when Rolyne asked me if I wanted to talk with Hilda, and I said, " Oh, sure, I just didn't want to interrupt Lori's time with her." It was my own insecure way of saying, "Please? I love her too, but I don't feel worthy enough to bump Lori." And when Lori looked at me like I was crazy, it felt good, because Lori expected that I bump her, just like Kaylene expects that I hug her, or that Keri expects me to chat with her. They don't view me in the way I sometimes view myself, unworthy. Even after all this time, I still have my moments of insecurity. Not because they make me feel this way, but because I still can't believe that I could ever be this lucky to love a family and have them love me back.

So, no matter what else the month of October brings us, I want each and every one of you to know how much I love you. Time on earth is too short, and we must all count our blessings that we come from good stock and are the products of love and faith.

Jeff: Thank you for being kind and genuinely interested in what each of us is doing.
Karla: Thank you for not being afraid to be yourself, or to be close to me.
Keri: Thank you for always being there for me and for staying up late to just chat.
Bill: Thank you for having everyone's best interest at heart.
Doug: Thank you for always making time to talk to me.
Em: Thank you for encouraging me to persue my goals and for helping me to encourage Ross.
Scott: Thank you for baptizing me, it's the best gift I've ever received.
Karin: Thank you for loving me the way you know to love people, with your whole heart.
Lori: Thank you for laughing with me and making me live a little. You have no idea how much I need that sometimes.
Rob: Thank you for always sharing your thoughts and your time with me, I know i can always depend on you.
Ned: Thank you for being the most honest and sincere gentleman. You're a great friend as well as a brother in law.
Rachel: Thank you for taking the time to get to know me, and for trusting me. Our closeness means more to me than you know.

and Rolyne, thank you for being as much my mother as your own children's mother. There's nothing more secure than knowing you've got someone who loves you, just the way you are. Our relationship means the world to me.

And there they are, my thoughts on October........


-Em

Dinner:

Ross is afraid of making dinner. This is not a quip, or a poke at his abilities, he is a cibophobic. It's a real word, look it up : )

In all seriousness, I'm tired of cooking every night after working all day, and it's about time he lend a hand in the kitchen, for better or worse. So, tonight, he's going to try his hand at Hamburger Helper. All I can say is, I'm excited : ) If this goes well, we might actually start trading off on this responsibility, a dream I've had for so long *snif* *snif* (little tear).

I'll be back to post my review of his first meal, and ladies and gents, I shall spare no feelings ... ha ha ha......

Sealing in the Temple:

So our bishop called me today and wanted to let me know that he has decided to grant Ross and i permission to be sealed anytime after October 12th. To Ross, this means that he and I will live happily ever after, a means to an end, if you will. For me, it means :

1) A temple dress

2) Finding a place to eat afterward

3) Making sure I fully understand the covenants I'm taking

4) Making sure I don't mess something up

5) Finding temple shoes

Obviously, we can tell Ross is a little more right-minded about this than I am, but I can't help but be excited. Afterall, this is the most important step in our committment to each other, and to our children. I am actually amazed at how far I've come since my discussions with my sister missionaries.

On another note, here are the details of our sealing date:

-It will be on October 17th, 2009

-This will be held at the Salt Lake City Temple

-The room seats 45 people

-The service will commence at 5:00 pm

-All guests need to be present in the sealing room by 4:30 pm

-I will need two female witnesses, my escort, of course, being Rolyne

-All escorts, bride and groom, and witnesses need to be present by 3:45

-And afterward, Ross and I would like to go eat downtown, all children and family invited (we are not paying, sorry : )

I hope everyone can make it.

-Em

Ladies and Gentlemen......

We have a PENIS : )

That's right, Ross and I are officially going to have a little Dexter : ) Everything looks great, and Dex seems to be 100% healthy, plus, he's got a cute little profile. Pictures to follow.

The theme for Dex's room will be Nautical, and we're on the lookout for antique sail boats, books, ect. Let us know if you find anything.

Ross + Em

What We're Having:

So today, Ross and i find out what we're having. Our appt. is at 3:30 pm with Dr. Aagard. I am officially putting down what I think I'm having : A girl. Ross has no backbone, and so he refuses to vote. Karin thinks I'm having a girl and so does my mom, along with my nieces Katie and Rach, and Lori, Rachel, and Alex have all said I'm having a boy. This is going to be interesting.... should have put money on it....

The Dexter Backlash:

So this morning, I was painfully bored and decided to go on AOL to get my email, look at celebrity gossip, and at some point, read what I like to refer to as "Adult News". Adult news, to me, is comprised of stories which bore and depress me, mostly simoultaneously. So, as I prepared to put my joy and happiness aside to read about the true horrors of the world, I noticed a headline that, in all sincerity, almost forced me to pee my pants from laughter.

The caption was entitled "Bad news for Jacks," and it had a pre-school sized chair with name tag on it that blatantly said "Jack." I knew, at this point, that there was no turning back, THIS was something inspiring, something worth writing about.

From the day Ross and I revealed that we wanted our first boy to be named "Dexter", we caught a lot of flack, and not just from one side of the family, but both. While Ross and I saw it as a charming, antiquated name, Kaylene, for example, saw it as disturbing. When I revealed the name Dexter to my mother, the stiffling silence on the other end of the phone, followed by coarse and harsh laughing was a sign to me that maybe we either needed to re-think the name, or gain a confidence about it, the likes of which Nigels and Damiens had mustered in their existence. Dexter, it appeared, was not going to just simply "slip" past the familial radar.

So by now, Ross and I have become accustomed to the lack of Dexter mugs, the absence of key chains and t-shirts, but not yet the suprisingly positive lack of Dexter as a trouble-maker's name. In fact, on a list of top 12 names from school teachers, Dexter, it seems, is nowhere near that list. Although, if this were a list of last names, I guarauntee Chamberlain would be among the 12, of course not before Ruiz with a giant scarlett "R".

So does this mean that Ned and Rach's kiddo is doomed to misbehave in school? That Jack, although devistatingly handsome, will likely send his teacher to the state's mental institution, covered in spitballs and frogs? I can't be sure. Afterall, what's really in a name?

I can say from years of working with pre-school aged children, there were in fact names which followed a certain personality characteristic. For example, Olivias, though cute, were highly precocious, stepping on their friends to get ot the top. Madelines and Maddisons were physically and emotionally mean, usually finding some way to inflict pain on a fellow student, or even a teacher. Stephanies, Ashlies, Amandas, and Nicoles were ALWAYS part of an entourage, never breaking free of the chains of their mundane and over-used names. And of course, there were boys. Johns and Michaels were also entourage kids, but managed to succeed nicely at everything. Brandons and Jacobs were troublemakers, usually at fault for some fellow student's tears. But Jacks, or Jaxons? I had a few when I coached gymnastics, and I can honestly say not once did I have a problem with Jack or the two Jaxons.

So what does this all mean? I say, in the grand scheme of things, put deep thought into what you name your children. Not because you need to have some sort of a life-altering, highly spiritual experience, but rather, because you love your child enough to ponder the decisions which will ultimately affect and shape their lives. I personally think Ned and Rach have done a fantastic job picking out their son's name, and have put a lot of love into their choice, something I wish more parents would do, unlike Abcde Martinez's mother, a woman who thought it would be hilarious to name her daughter by the first 5 letters of the alphabet.

Will we get everything right with our kids? I highly doubt it, but I know that if we keep a strong moral ground, our children will follow. What they will inevitably choose as adults will be of no reflection on us as parents, if we've done all we can.

I can say this much about my sister (in law), that maybe everyone else's Jack will have issues, but Rach's, I highly doubt, will fit the profile.

Busy, all the time........

So as of late, Ross and I have discussed, at great length, the fact that I have bothered to create a blog, but have yet to maintain it.
I'm guessing a majority of it has to do with the way I write, in that, when there is a lack of inspiration, I am wordless (on paper at least : ). This is no excuse though, because there is plenty going on in the world of Emily + Ross.
Take, for example, our baby. I am now 19 weeks pregnant as of yesterday, and aparently in fine health. Ipso facto, the quad screen came back perfect. I was sweating this on account of Ross' genetics. Let's face it America, Ross will bring agility and sports GENEIUS to the mix, but lacking will be the following:

1) Nutritional Eating
2) Daily Showers
3) Fashion Sense
4) Hair Color
5) Cartiledge
6) Sense of Smell (seriously, if he had one, I for one would be shocked)

All kidding aside, one of the main reasons I fell in love with Ross in the first place was his future ability to be an amazing father. He's got this perspective that creates a warm, loving environment. There are times when he'll try and talk to me from another room, and I'm glad he can't see my face, because I'm usually grinning. Not that he's funny, or that I'm being condescending, but rather, hearing a man speak so calmly and lovingly is just foreign.
Either way, I'm glad to have him as a husband, and a future Daddy : ) He's just great.

HEY ROSS:

Congrats hun, you're going to be a DADDY..... : )

Little things that mean a lot.....

It was 12am on Friday when Ross came to pick me up from the airport. His face had "need a home cooked meal" all over it. It's in these little stolen glances that the guilt seeps in. Am I doing the best I can, everyday, to make sure my husband is happy?

I got into the car, but not before a welcome home smooch, which was much needed for both sides. My whole body began to ache, and I could tell Ross was looking for any sign of life one me, some way he could make sure I was awake enough just to keep him company on the ride home. So, I sat up and asked as many questions as I could.

It's always two moments in time, that I'm the surest I've been since the alter, that Ross and I are meant to be. The first would be the sound of airplane wheels retracting into their compartments, that click of metal immediately followed by the air lifting the plane's body. And the second would be, the feeling of the first set of wheels slamming onto the tar mack. These seem like trivial sounds or events, but they each symbolize a different feeling I have for Ross.

The first reminds me that I already miss being away from him, no matter how stubborn we each become, and the second......the second is the way I know it's time to relax and be myself, to come home to what I know is right.

That next morning, Ross left early to go play basketball, and the only way I actually know this is because he came back at 8:30 and told me so. Though we didn't have much planned, by 9:45 that night I was ready to go to bed, and I felt horrible about that, but my body needed rest as a much larger travel was afoot on Sunday. I put in a load of work shirts for drying, and fell asleep, only to wake up early this morning and realize, my clothes probably weren't dry enough.........GREAT....I was going to smell like Ross' abused basketball shorts again : (

But just as I got up to go check, all, ALL of my laundry was done and put into a basket. This may not seem like much to anyone of consequence, but it was like a tiny vacation for me. My eyes instantly welled with tears as I realized that Ross had to have stayed up a good three hours to get the second load done. A large smile spread across my face, and I ran to our bedroom to thank him. No matter what, Ross will always be, to me, the most thoughtful man I know.

The Wedding

Ross and I were married Saturday, March 21st.

I'd like to say that everything changed the moment we tied the knot, but that's not life. In all honesty, practically nothing changed, and that makes it all worth the walk down the isle. Aside from the good food and friends, I have never felt more a part of something greater than marrying into Ross' family. I can whole-heartedly say that I love every bit of the sixteen. We all bring something amazing and unique to the group, and it's my personal belief that, if we were to battle another group of eight siblings and their spouses, we'd kick their trash.

Needless to say, Ross' whole being is different to me. His face has matured in this way that has husband written all over it. Either way, I am even more in love with him than the day we started dating.